12-12-12 – May be in Rejection Again/Still Feel Crappy

Well, I haven’t written in a while. November was tough. Steroid treatments for the rejection were difficult, as usual. I had trouble sleeping and was wired at times, exhausted others, and gained more weight. Thanksgiving is tough because it is the anniversary of my father’s death. It’s been 7 years now. I can’t believe it. … Continue reading

7-24-12/Ureter Good, Creatinine High, and Bravery

Things at Yale went good and so/so.   The ultrasound was good, so it appears that the Ureter Revision was a success. Thank G-D. However, my creatinine is still high – 2.3 now. They want to give me a “vacation from Yale” for two weeks, but unless the creatinine is substantially better, have a biopsy … Continue reading

7-3-12/You (likely) Don’t Know How Hard This Is

I posted the below entry on my “Post-Transplant Feelings” page. However, thought it was an appropriate entry for today.    I am very unhappy with how I feel and how others are handling me at the moment. Someone told me today that I least that “didn’t take my sense of humor.” I responded with “not … Continue reading

7-2-12/Enough Already

Okay, they said there would be bumps in the roads. I get that. I am, however,  getting sick of potholes that prevent me from reaching my destination – some consistent level of health. Not even great health – just consistent health. My standards are lowering by the day.   I was back at Yale today … Continue reading

6-25-12/Surgery Tomorrow

I don’t really know what to say. I spent most of today staring out into space and trying to rationalize this – or at least, make peace with it.   No such luck.   I will try to keep everyone up to date, but don’t expect anything for a few days, at least.   Thank … Continue reading

6-23-12/I Can’t Do This Again

I am really struggling. I don’t know if I can muster the strength to go through this AGAIN!   I know I don’t have a choice – and everyone keeps reminding me that – as if it helps. However, in many ways, I feel worse than going into the last surgery. Physically better overall, but … Continue reading

6-21-12/Overwhelmed – Don’t underestimate the mental drain

Today was supposed to be the surgery. I am glad it got moved so both top surgeons could be on the case, but part of me just wants this over with.   I am so overwhelmed from this hanging over me and knowing that my life – in a best case scenario – cannot return … Continue reading